Naked Girls Reading: Kink
On 27th February I was awoken on several different levels. For one, I've been consumed by anxiety for years and doing anything social alone always terrified me, and secondly, I was overcome by creative, intelligent and beautiful people. This moment of existential realisation was courtesy of the lovely ladies at The Most Cake, who gave me two tickets for free.
Of course, I checked to see if any of my friends could attend the event with me, but on a few hours' notice this proved a little tricky. As a result, I wrote on the Facebook event to see if anyone wanted my ticket and I ended up giving it to none other than the infamous DJ Nikki Lucas!
I waited in the queue outside
feeling my palms get a bit sweaty and not really knowing how to feel or what to do. Any person suffering from an anxiety disorder probably knows the same feeling, not being able to look anyone in the eye, being genuinely surprised at themselves for making it there alone when doing anything like that on your own is so daunting.
So I stood in the queue, the girls (one of them looked just like a Punk Krysten Ritter) behind me asked me for a lighter and we made sporadic small talk while I stood there awkwardly and tried really hard to seem normal. After the doors opened and I stood around at the back of a room that was already very full of 'friends of performers', etc. At this point I was genuinely taken aback by JUST HOW ATTRACTIVE everyone there was. Like honestly, I made a note in my notebook to reiterate seriously how attractive everyone was. Like ridiculously hot. So there's that.
I swished on down to the front and ended up sitting on the floor (and ripping my jeans) and being practically arms length away from the performers. The naked performers. NAKED GIRL PERFORMERS. More specifically, the following lovely ladies performed:
Bica Getshervagoutovic and
The Masked Reader.
It was hosted by the lovely
Dr. Sharon Husbands
, who I fell hopelessly in love with because of her lovely beard and accent and glitter eyeshadow and killer heels. She made eye contact with me and I basically melted.
I tried not to be the arse-hole in the corner with a notebook but I did have to jot a few things down. Mostly to have some form of lasting proof that I went to the event, and secondly to ingrain it into my memory, as though I would forget. The readings were taken from a broad range of Media, my two favourites being performed by Gia - a letter from Cher to Chaz as written by one of the event curators, and the other being about vaginas, performed by Bica and the Masked Reader, with the parting line
Quite simply, and lovingly, a cunt
'. This piece was also written by one of the event curators.
As the performances went on, I felt more and more at ease. From not knowing where to look, to studying the faces in the crowd, to absorbing the bravery of the performers in all of their beauty. Each of them was shockingly stunning and charismatic, totally captivating the audience.
It was an amazing night.
Massive thanks to the women I met, everyone who spoke to me, everyone who was interested in what I was doing, everyone who even glanced my way with kindness. I don't think I'd ever felt that secure in a room full of strangers, the contrast from how I felt when I entered the event to how I felt when I left was unreal - I felt totally re-energised. These incredible women and the people who provided the material for them to perform had put a spell on me, and changed me in more ways than one.
They have reaffirmed my faith in going at it alone and in the LGBTQIA community on the whole, they have stood up in front of hundreds of people totally comfortable and sure of themselves, and left me with the desire to be as wonderful as they are.
Thanks again to The Most Cake, for giving me this opportunity and being absolutely fucking incredible, yet again.