This will be a note by note stream of consciousness whilst watching the video for Two Weeks by FKA Twigs.

Disclaimer: I know literally nothing about music but I know a lot about everything else, ever (lies).

I just pressed play omg.

Ooh some very ominous banging sounds accompanied by what sounds like water dripping from a tap. It reminds me of the bit in the film version of Chicago where all the babes come out in the lingerie and sing about how awesome Misandry is. The video's got lovely smokey smokey stuff in it. OOH THERE'S HER FACE! Have you ever been SUPER intrigued by what someone looks like judging on their voice but have never actually seen them or watched any of their videos? Her face is basically the face of an angel sex goddess. The same as her voice. I'm such a sucker for anyone with those babyhair curls stuck to their faces and she's doing it WELL.

GOD her voice is lovely.

Even though she's sitting really still in the video (except her super awesome arm movements which are clearly learnt from a ballerina's ghost or something) her lil headdress is quivering. Like my thighs.

Oh my god that way she goes 'haaah'. Y'know, the really high bit that's ridiculously sexual? I feel a bit inappropriate watching this at work...

There's gr8 birds in the background and some more heavenly arms floating around and about. I fully endorse this. How can someone say 'higher than a motherfucker' in such an enchanting and menacing way? She's got that expression, y'know, that like super angry sexual thing.

I wonder what the tapestry in the background represents? It's like, casually blowing in the breeze. Presumably the same breeze that's making her lil headdress quiver. And my thighs.

There are a lot of long nails, twirly wrists and arms and POWERFUL WOMEN in this video.


Would anyone NOT do anything she said? Nope? Didn't think so.

I can't get over these dancers. Who are they? They're SO great.



I really believe everything she's saying. You know some women just have the power to demand anything from anyone without really trying?  I reckon FKA Twigs is one of them. I'd do whatever she said.

Magical sand is pouring out of her hand. It's literally like she's giving the paupers a tiny bit of her awesomeness. Like ooh, I feel bad, I'm so amazing, have some of my fab dust'.

'My thighs are apart for when you're ready to breathe in'. Need I say anything else?

Aw, she puts me first.

There are really tiny delicate fountains and women dancing in the water. Like the pour it up video but not really like it at all.

Ooh it's panning down into the water...




Oh she's having a lil swim in what can only be described as a lookalike Valentino gown with sunbeams shining on her like she's being taken to heaven.

Apparently someone called 'Nabil' directed it. Good work, Nabil, good work.

This has been an unedited blog post. Ta!